My favorite spam
Most spam senders are boring. The lonely housewife, the Nigerian plotter, the anti-virus promoter, the would-be medicator, the helpful economist. But someone knocks on my e-door and wants to give away lobster, I listen.
"Click here to win 50 lbs. of lobster," said the e-mail to my Yahoo account. I was intrigued, so I clicked. Sure enough, the good people at Lobstersweeps.com were offering a chance to win 50 lbs. of lobster.
What does 50 lbs. of lobster look like? It looks good. Fifty pounds is the equivalent of $750 worth of lobster, according to the contest rules.
Not surpisingly, the chance to win set the blogging community aflame. Stacey pondered an Annie Hall-ish hell: "Why would I want 50 pounds of lobster running around in my kitchen!?" Leo disagreed with the means: "I think one should inherit it from his/her kooky uncle." Adam felt chafed: "I was much more comfortable when the Nigerians were writing to me, at least you know where you stand with them."
touch japanese analyzed the theory: "Where is the guy who thought, you know what the key to spam is? not Viagra, not Home mortgages, but yes, what is it everyone loves? that's right… lobster."
Katie was thoughtful: "i don't know why i found it funny, but i did." Akasha was unthankful: "I don't even like seafood." Jason was media-critical: "I wonder what the lobstersweeps newsletter covers? Is it a daily? Does it have world lobster news or maybe just focuses on the U.S.?"
Nicole responded to the solicitation: "Your heartwarming email regarding the 50 lb Lobster prize made me nostalgic about the past, and remember the fun times me and my late sister Susie Ann (who recently and ironically died from a shellfish allergy) had so long ago."
Kar3n considered the cooking: "Do pots come that big? Can you freeze 'em and broil-as-needed?" Okey-dokey appraised the eating: "breakfast, lunch and dinner…. and a small snack in between."
Who knew what 50 lbs. of lobster cook provoke? You have to give credit to advertising.com for running this contest. They successfully tapped into the deep-seated American urge to win ridiculous prizes — an urge first embedded into the national psyche with 1803's Louisiana Purchase.
I urge everyone to sign up for this contest, especially if you're an attractive young blonde (and of course if you don't mind giving your e-mail address to a known spammer).
Attractive young blondes are one-for-one in these lobster contests so far, thanks to the comely, glamour-shot-toting April Malone of Houston, Texas. She won 40 lbs. of lobster. And don't you want to be like her?
