July 22, 2004 6:50 PM

Rationalization

With my orange juice carton unexpectedly empty this evening, I find myself turning to the other side of the refridgerator. There, I have a discussion my inner Fat Tony.

Patrick: Uh, say, are you guys crooks?

Tony: Patrick, um, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?

Patrick: No…

Tony: Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?

Patrick: Uh uh.

Tony: And, what if your family don't like bread? They like… orange juice?

Patrick: I guess that's okay.

Tony: Now, what if instead of giving orange juice away to them, you gave it to yourself at a price that was practically giving it away to them. Would that be a crime, Patrick?

Patrick: Hell, no!

Tony: Enjoy your gift.

Mark, your orange juice expires before you get back from your trip. So I'm drinking it.

Thoughts?