Before you go falling in love with Franklin Pierce
Nerve's "Top 43 Sexiest U.S. Presidents" countdown leaves much to be desired, but the highlight is Franklin Pierce at #5. Nerve pic and blurb:
There's not much to say about this obscure president, except that he's gorgeous. He's like Johnny Depp, but without as much to show for himself.
Sounds good, right?
Johnny Depp! People's Sexiest Man Alive!
But — before you go falling in love with dead former President Franklin Pierce, you should know a few things. I present to you everything from Pierce's Wikipedia that suggests things may not work out for you two.
1. Father issues. "Friends recalled that just after he entered the school, he became homesick and returned home barefoot. His father put him in a wagon, drove him half way back to the academy, and left him on the roadside, never saying a word. The boy trudged the remaining seven miles back to school."
2. He's married — and it ain't going well at all. "Born into an aristocratic Whig family, she was extremely shy, often ill, deeply religious, and pro-temperance. … After the gruesome death of her last child, shortly before Pierce's inauguration, she was overcome with melancholia and distanced herself from her husband during his presidency. She became known as 'the shadow of the white house.' "
3. Family death. "They had three children, all of whom died in childhood. The last child, who lived the longest, was killed in a train wreck at the age of 11. … [Wife] Jane Pierce viewed the train accident as a divine punishment for her husband's pursuit and acceptance of high office."
4. Bad decisions and lots of them. "His inoffensive personality caused him to make many friends, but he suffered tragedy in his personal life and as president subsequently made decisions which were widely criticized and divisive in their effects, thus giving him the reputation as one of the worst presidents in U.S. history."
5. Too much wine, not enough roses. "Abandoned by his party, Pierce was not renominated to run in the 1856 presidential election and was replaced by James Buchanan as the Democratic candidate. After losing the Democratic nomination, Pierce continued his lifelong struggle with alcoholism as his marriage to Jane Means Appleton Pierce fell apart.
6. Oh, and… "His reputation was destroyed during the American Civil War when he declared support for the Confederacy, and personal correspondence between Pierce and Confederate President Jefferson Davis was leaked to the press. He died in 1869 from cirrhosis."
February 14th, 2010 at 1:25 PM
And here I was, swooning over young Henry Cabot Lodge at the portrait gallery yesterday… Didn't even think to go looking for a hunky head of state!
February 14th, 2010 at 3:07 PM
Well, there we go. Can't wait for Pitchfork to review him.
February 14th, 2010 at 5:20 PM
That's the one. I hear he's forming a musical co-op called "Sullen Waistcoats" for a concept album protesting the League of Nations, using only a zither and a recording of boots in a dryer.
February 14th, 2010 at 7:31 PM
Take that, Bon Iver!