Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer plays cards
The running family gag from childhood, based on when I ran round the corner at the bottom of hill after church and passed the cutest girls in school piling into an '80s station wagon: Patrick says, "Hey, girls!" and promptly wipes out in the most ridiculous fashion possible. Feet go out from under, topsy turvy, Patrick tumbles across the Murphys' lawn. Did this happen in real life? No, but it was the dream, and it never got less funny. I supposedly got more coordinated after this. Apparently false.
Apparently, my apparent lack of coordination has been lying in wait for years, waiting to team up with left-handedness and my troubles with numbers. So, if you're a cute girl, I'm going to walk fine through the ice and snow, so I can continue to knock glasses through the air, all over you, run into half my exes at once and be the worst cards player ever.
Really? Really? I can't even estimate the odds! And yet, there we are.
