Gyroscopes, people!
What are these handlebars? Why are they at the Lincoln Memorial?
Why am I wearing a helmet? Who are all the people behind me?
Segways, baby. The most overhyped invention of the past decade and so easy to mock from afar, but so very much fun to ride and the closest thing to a Back to the Future hoverboard you've ever experienced. Jess gave me a gift card two years ago to City Segway Tours, and every six months since she's asked if I've used it. And rightly so. I love Segways and my hometown, you know, but I'm bad at using gift cards. With one day left before the gift expired, I finally used it today. It was awesome.
Buddy Jeff and I did the three-hour National Mall tour. Forecast storms didn't arrive, and weather was fantastic. We rolled through downtown traffic, raced the machines to their max speeds and avoided crashing.
See?
First thing you do is sign your life away and watch a video on dangers.
Practice in an alley. Hit the streets. You learn faster than you expect.
White House! Flying down the blocked street. Posing like happy dopes.
Guide Lindsay, at right, was great. She left even us natives impressed.
Constitution Gardens, not as impressive. Pic doesn't capture the smell.
But we moved quickly to the Reflecting Pool, everywhere green, blue.
Lincoln Memorial, then Washington Monument. Again, green, blue.
You have to watch where you drive. Bumps + backward almost got me.
Driving in downtown traffic wasn't bad at all, though. Two by two…
Jeff and I briefly considered making a break for Gonzaga.
Why I took this photo: Hey, duck, how you doin? Those are some nice feathers you got there. So, you're a duck, what's that like? You like my Segway? It rolls like you fly, huh? Say hi to your mother for me, okay?
Coolest Capitol sight: Two workers hanging off the side of the dome.
Then it was back down Pennsylvania Avenue. A kid took my picture.
The First Amendment! Was nice to see our group liking the Newseum.
My favorite tour tidbit: Archive doors are the National Treasure doors.
We ended with the Navy Memorial and Ford's Theater. Good breeze!
The breeze was decent, but doubling the wind with a little speed was good too. The Segway may have been overhyped, but it was one fun afternoon. In three hours, I never got off the thing. More bystanders liked the machines than mocked them. Said one mother, explaining to two children as she passed me, "You need good balance for that job."
…
Three bonus videos:
The only song I know to mention gyroscopes. Bruce, of course.
Crumbler Casey practices before a 2009 Segway tour.
For Jess and Meghan, G.O.B. on a Segway. Mr. Banana-Grabbers!
May 9th, 2010 at 8:53 AM
Two sticks and extra chocolate? What is it, Mardi Gras?
Bravo, bravo. Now take a tour of the city in a stairway vehicle, and your work here is done.
May 9th, 2010 at 6:12 PM
LOL.
"Alright, stair-car basics. In order to get this thing up to a minimum speed you gotta jam on the gas pedal, for about a minute okay, but in order to slow this thing down you gotta get almost immediately back on the brake pedal because you got about two tons of stairs behind you. We're gonna cover the hydraulic flaps and the riser system after I tell you basics about how to avoid a hop on."