"Alright, stair-car basics. In order to get this thing up to a minimum speed you gotta jam on the gas pedal, for about a minute okay, but in order to slow this thing down you gotta get almost immediately back on the brake pedal because you got about two tons of stairs behind you. We're gonna cover the hydraulic flaps and the riser system after I tell you basics about how to avoid a hop on."

Bravo, bravo. Now take a tour of the city in a stairway vehicle, and your work here is done.