Media notes

Country singer Lyle Lovett has been trampled by a bull. He’ll live, but circumstances beg the question: What’s worse, being trampled by a bull or being dumped by Julia Roberts?

In other news, coming soon to a theater near you: “High Crimes.” According to its advertisement, Morgan Freeman plays an “outcast lawyer with nothing to lose.” That said, please visit Modern Humorist’s Movie Trailer Cliche Theater. Tell your friends, especially if they write movie ads.

Finally, WGN News at Nine reported the USS Theodore Roosevelt’s return to Norfolk, Va., today. In describing the return, anchors noted the carrier was “back on American soil.”

NYC’s coolest cop on CD

New York police officer Daniel Rodriguez has released an album. Rodriguez blew me away when he sang “God Bless America” at Yankee Stadium during the baseball playoffs. The man has pipes.

Dannon, the official yogurt of Big Daddy Records?

Choobakka’s “She’s Feeling Me” feat. Lady J is now in rotation on BET’s 106 & Park. Choobakka is new on the national rap scene and little has been written about him. But, judging by his video, one thing is obvious: This man loves his yogurt.

In the video, Choobakka and Lady J repeatedly rap up the dairy aisle at the supermarket as they pose in front of the yogurt shelves. Dannon “Fruit on the Bottom” gets major play. I’m not quite sure of the significance, but that won’t keep me from theorizing.

Choobakka — African-American and Latino — is a product of diversity, like the Mixed Berries style of the Fruit on the Bottom. Also, Mixed Berries, like Choobakka, is often found near the Big Daddy Records studio in Mount Vernon, NY. (Type in the Mount Vernon zip code, 10550, on this page for the proof, courtesy of your local Dannon retailers.)

Whatever the reason, the song was good and danceable. Just like Dannon’s yogurt. Sort of.

And the remote control lands on…

Nobody’s Perfect, a 1989 classic with all the bad movie trimmings. The plot in three sentences:

1) Steve (Chad Lowe) gets kicked off his collegiate men’s tennis team because he falls madly in love Shelly (Gail O’Grady), who is on the women’s tennis team.

2) To get her, Steve pretends to be Stephanie, the foreign exchange student who quickly becomes the star of the women’s team and, of course, Shelly’s roommate.

3) Hijinks — albeit unfunny hijinks — ensue.

Watch the trailer.

The movie’s highlight by far is the moment when Steve tries to think of a topic for his English paper. “Dickens… David CopperfieldGreat Expectations… [eyes light up, jaw drops]. Orphans! All of those guys are orphans!”

It’s amazing this movie was done as a romantic drama. But all of the gender switching makes you wonder. Did the movie encourage Lowe’s wife, Hilary Swank, to play Brandon Teena/Teena Brandon in Boys Don’t Cry? How much of that Best Actress statuette belongs to Mr. Lowe?

Nevermind

I’m dropping the whole imaginary trip idea. I don’t have the creativity to go through with it. I’m a journalism major and not an English/creative writing major for a reason. Sometimes I forget that. If something noteworthy happens this week, I’ll post about it. Otherwise, I’m taking the week off.

Interesting people

Manny, a barber at my neighborhood barber shop, talking about the clientele of a juice bar he was in once: “There was this kid in there sitting near me. This kid, he must have had more earrings than a jewelry store! They weren’t all in his ear either.”

Also, laudromat callers. After discussing whether to live in the house next year, the sweatpanted sorority sisters began to load their laundry into the machines and encountered a problem. Luckily, they had their cell phones at the ready to combat it. One made the call: “Mom, hi! Hey, what temperature do you put whites on in the washing machine?” Somewhere, instruction tag writers were crying.

Why do so many people feel compelled to call at the laundromat? My two theories:

1) People are bored at the laundromat. They’ve brought their bags of laundry, and they’ve brought their quarters and detergent. That’s already a lot to think about. Bringing something on top of that might be too much to ask.

2) People are lonely at the laundromat. The elements are so intimate; the environment is so sterile. This dysfunction — this crush upon the psyche, this wash-dry tease — is extreme. Or something like that.

Where you been?

Good question. Wednesday — work, haircut and paper-writing. Thursday — work, laundry. Friday — job interview, lightning fast packing, then flight home. Saturday — lazy, then Maryland game. I’ve returned home for spring break.

Patrick, you’re boring

Yes, this week at least. I don’t expect anything exciting to happen because relaxing doesn’t quite lead to anything exciting. Instead, this week I’m going to write about other people. Specifically, I’m going to write about my friends Brendan, Tara, Nate, Jamie and Mark as they venture to New Orleans. Because they’re out of contact, we’ll just have to make it all up.

Here’s what we do know: Early Saturday morning, the five loaded into Brendan’s white pick-up truck and chugged out of Evanston, Ill., pop-up camper in tow. The camper, which belongs to Nate’s family, is where they will sleep once they arrive on the outskirts of New Orleans. After a few days in the Big Easy, they will drive back to Evanston.

This is all I know. It’s a good start. Tomorrow: On to Memphis!

My kind of joke

From Andrew’s AIM profile: A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is staring at the horse, when the horse says, “Hey buddy, what are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?”

The guy says, “No, it’s not that… it’s just that I never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

Maybe someday I’ll visit their offices too

Back in the pre-digital days, back when we had to (but often failed to) write things down, we got the magazine Your Big Backyard from the National Wildlife Federation. When we got a little older, we subscribed to Ranger Rick.

Cue you, the rapidly aging youth: “Oh yeah, I remember that! Or, alternatively: “I forgot about that!”

Thanks. It turns out both magazines are both still around and thriving. My friend is giving her niece Big Backyard for her birthday. It’s a great idea. No matter how much changes, some things stay the same. Like knowing your animals and picking up trash. I’d sure like to see my computer tell me what a pelican is! That’ll be the day.

Somewhat on the topic:

Is Ranger Rick anti-hunting?

Is Ranger Rick pro-squirrel?

The only connection ever between Springsteen and Ranger Rick

Also, an FYI for all the magazine majors at Medill: Ranger Rick circulation: 550,000. Boy’s Life: 1.3 million. Highlights: 2 to 2.5 million. Thar’s money in them thar Goofi.