The best parts of Black Friday

This Bryce Harper garden gnome that looks nothing like Bryce Harper but is all kinds of creepy, especially as you imagine it lurking in your garden.

This anti-snoring solution that has made the 2017 list of Oprah’s favorite things. The device listens to snoring and then inflates under your pillow as you sleep, pushing your head around until the snoring stops. The video is great.

This $200 toaster that says “TOAST” on the side. How else will you know what to do with the machine? But the idea of clamps for holding bread slices is great. I say this as someone who’s recently been toasting mini-English muffins.

Never tired of Dusty Baker quotes

In the Post, on struggling Nats catcher Matt Wieters:

Before the game, Nationals Manager Dusty Baker — going out of his way to point out that he is a non-Catholic, and therefore not necessarily qualified to say so — speculated that Wieters is spending this month in purgatory. Purgatory, in Baker’s baseball-driven mind, is that place where a hitter is “behind the fastball and ahead of the curveball.” In other words, no man’s land.

Ready for the season to start

“I was the best third baseman in baseball, young lady. I was as good a third baseman as you’re going to find anywhere. I could throw from here on a bunted ball, charge it, pick it up, boom, get it over to Joe Judge at first.

“I’d like to do it again,” he says. “Yessir. I’d like to do it again. There’s a time when you’re out there playing day in and day out and you wonder when the hell it’s going to end. You get a little tired.”

Here’s a find of Lori’s, when a call she got at the bookstore sent her Googling. Great baseball writer Jane Leavy — her Koufax book is sitting on my bookshelf — talks to former Washington Senators star Ossie Bluege in 1985 when he was 84 years old. I’d never heard before of Bluege. Couldn’t put the story down.