Or am I? (No.)

Google Analytics tells me the most popular search leading here in the past month has been pat cooper romantic times 2010. Building on the grand tradition of people with my name doing random things, it turns out the lady Pat Cooper is a prolific reviewer for Romantic Times, the leading (and only?) monthly review magazine for romance novels.

Sure, I can show you a bodice-ripping good time and toss off words like "bosoms" and "lissome," but these books take the love drama to another level. I now give you some of my favorite Pat Cooper recaps:

Devlin and the Deep Blue Sea
"Standing on a moonlit Mexican beach, cursing her ex for taking off with their money and a new girl, helicopter pilot Elizabeth Moore finds herself tossed into the middle of a murder and international intrigue — and face to face with sexy-as-hell Joe Devlin. Caught between Devlin and the Deep Blue Sea, Elizabeth tries to pay off her debts as she attracts the attention of the police and a drug smuggler looking for his property. Then she gets involved in Joe's mission for a covert organization in Merline Lovelace's fast-paced tale. Unfortunately, the characters may not connect to readers on an emotional level."

Her Christmas Wish
"Meeting paramedic Eric Sepulveda at the winter carnival, nurse Alina Allinova's heart starts to topple, until she realizes that in no way does he resemble the man her psychic grandmother said she'd fall in love with — and Baka Fania was never wrong. Adding to that, Eric's family is trying to match him up with Alina's best friend because they believe the two would be more compatible and they don't approve of Alina, who will be returning to her own country in a few months."

(more…)

Fast Company names WhatDoYouSuggest.Net an infographic of the day. I can't argue. The site transforms Google's search suggestions into an attractive and telling visual form. But it's too bad to enter my name and find our Birmingham friend still dominating the results:

But I'm a little thrilled to see the Patrick Cooper rap make the cut.

Meanwhile, the New York Times picks up news of former Birmingham mayor — and cause of two Patrick Cooper campaigns — Larry Langford getting a 15-year bribery sentence. "But Mr. Langford provided one last jolt to the city just before his sentencing. In an unrelated lawsuit this week, it was revealed that he had somehow won hundreds of jackpots at a bingo casino owned by a supporter, adding $1.5 million to his income, according to his tax returns."

Elsewhere, there's apparently a Patrick Cooper who's reptile curator at Australia's vowel-free Qld Museum. Reptiles are invading your houses!

You need each other's help. Tell us now, Fraser Coast Chronicle: "WHEN you hear chuck-chuck-chuck on your bedroom wall or window ledge tonight, don't dive under the sheets "“ your visitor is only the little Asian house gecko who is cleaning up your cockroaches, mossies and spiders "“ and possibly copulating in between to swell his numbers."

Kathy Kemp interviewed me this week, and her column ran today.

Will the real Patrick Cooper please stand up?

That noise you hear is the sound of chairs pushing back and scraping the floor. It seems the Birmingham lawyer, who lost to William Bell last week in a contentious runoff for mayor, is just one in a nation filled with Patrick Coopers.

One such Cooper, an online-products specialist with USA Today, became familiar with our Cooper after some people in Birmingham confused him, the USA Today guy, with the candidate. That's because the USA Today Cooper has a Web site called patrickcooper.com, which drew a lot of traffic from Birmingham in the months before the election.

"I got e-mails from people wanting to meet with me. I got asked to go on a radio show. One family even invited me to their holiday party," Cooper, the noncandidate, says by phone from his office near Washington.

Such odd fame. Read Kemp's full column, "A nation of Coopers."

The column leaves me wishing two things: to talk to Patrick Cooper the candidate and to have blogged years ago on talking to Patrick Cooper the stylist. All I remember of our call now is that he was a nice guy, got as big a kick out of talking as I did and had phone headset issues.

The Birmingham mayoral tallies have run close all night tonight, but William Bell has edged Patrick Cooper by about 3,000 votes.

It was standing room only at Cosmos Sports Bar and Grill in Norwood, where Bell supporters enjoyed live entertainment and periodic vote updates from a disc jockey.

At Old Car Heaven, Cooper supporters gathered among vintage autos as results continued to come in. Among them was Councilwoman Kim Rafferty, whom Cooper supported in her election.

I think Patrick Cooper's loss helps my Google rank more than a Patrick Cooper win would have, but I can't rejoice in any Patrick Coopers' loss. Whatever his politics or success, we are brothers of the same name.

Let us bid farewell to Birmingham's mayoral race the only way we can…

And what will his win or loss do to my Google ranking? WBRC today:

Monday may have been a holiday for Martin Luther King, Jr., but it did not stop candidates who are running in the special runoff election for mayor of Birmingham.

William Bell and Patrick Cooper marched near the head of the MLK parade in downtown Birmingham Monday. Both men told FOX6 News they were feeling tired but confident as the campaign wound down.

Polls are open 7-7 Tuesday, and it sounds like the News will Cover It Live. A story has a quote on how tomorrow may go, from a pollster: "Generally I expect more people to vote than did in the first go-around, but the nature of this could change that. This one's gotten so dirty. That really negative campaigning seems to drive down turnout."

Elsewhere, sorting through the race, Birmingham Weekly makes me realize Cooper and I have some else in common. Gesticulation!

Cooper describes himself as a fresh face for Birmingham, and voters might see that face were they not distracted by Cooper's nervous gesticulation. Cooper doesn't speak with his hands; he uses them to assault the air in front of him with two-handed karate chops. Sometimes, his arms and shoulders join the attack, until he becomes a bad impersonation of Regis Philbin. When Cooper finishes his point, he picks a person from the audience to flash a Bush-like smile. It conveys the pride of someone who slogged through every rehearsed line without tripping, not once.

But at least Cooper smiles. On stage, Bell is confident almost to a fault. He is calm to the point of seeming shrewd. He wears the scowl of someone who just tasted a green persimmon. When he goes on the rhetorical attack, he has the countenance of a man who might poison his neighbor's dog.

I knocked over a glass of wine at a restaurant just last week.

Headline on the piece? "The evil of two lessers." The News yesterday endorsed Cooper but with reservations about a lack of experience.

This blog, as you know, does not endorse political candidates, parties or philosophies, even when they share my name. But, Birmingham residents, I ask you to vote tomorrow to restore my Google ranking.

Whether you vote against Patrick Cooper and send him into obscurity or vote for Patrick Cooper and send him into the digital obscurity of municipal Web pages, do what you feel is right. Your city ballot, in a way, is your Google ballot. Vote for me, the other Patrick Cooper.

I'm still not the Patrick Cooper running for mayor, but I continue to get mail from voters. Their letters keep me interested. As I've told them in replies, I'm now more curious about a race in a state I've never seen than I expected possible. (The voters then usually invite me to visit.)

What's new? The race is turning ugly. Cooper missed a NAACP debate, and fingers pointed all over. Meanwhile, race-baiting and gay-baiting fliers surfaced outside the debate hall and elsewhere. On the more substantial side of the contest, there's still policy talk going on.

Bell wants more fiscal stability before tackling pressing issues such as community revitalization, crime and improved mass transit, but he sees the domed stadium as part of the city's future.

Cooper sees pre-kindergarten pro grams and mass transit as priorities to help combat the city's crime and poverty, and believes the city should pursue its "needs" before its "wants."

Birmingham folks who see this post this week, who has your vote?

In recent weeks, I've been invited to a nice Birmingham family's holiday party and asked to speak to Birmingham minority contractors. The Web traffic from the greater Birmingham area has continued unabated. Yet, critically, I remain the Patrick Cooper who's not the Birmingham politico.

And that Patrick Cooper isn't mayor yet either. As I watched the Al.com election night Cover It Live session, that Cooper racked up the most votes but not enough to avoid a run-off. Cooper now faces William Bell in a January 19 vote. The latest in the race? A recently dismissed city hall power is calling himself "one of the most ferocious anti-campaign operatives in America" and gunning for Cooper. (Weird photo, yes?)

In other news, remember the Patrick Cooper rap? Cooper says he's flattered but doesn't like the language. His opponent is unconvinced.

For more coverage, please enjoy this video, which is in Spanish but, whatever your language, offers the most concise rundown I've seen:

A kind Birmingham family mistakenly invited me to their Christmas party last week, and I went searching for how they could contact the Patrick Cooper they wanted. I found his site but also found an amazing video. Embedding does not constitute an endorsement. (Note: Profanity.)

And here I thought Patrick Cooper the mayoral candidate was my rival Google. Just as Andre Natta, publisher of Birmingham's The Terminal, gives me a great reason to pull for candidate Patrick Cooper — "even if he wins, your site will end up retaking it's number 1 spot sooner rather than later since all of his inquiries would end up at our city's website anyway" — we get a November Patrick Cooper surprise.

Put on your Drudge red lights. Patrick Cooper the jazz musician has grabbed half of our shared name's PageRank. Search for our name without quotes and he's #1. As of this evening, search for our name with quotes and I'm #1. It's like Patrick Cooper me and Patrick Cooper the mayoral candidate split the vote, and the Patrick Cooper of jazz strolled right by. He hasn't updated his site since 2007ish. Not good.

Bad news. The Web rumblings became real yesterday when one-time Birmingham mayoral candidate Patrick Cooper threw his hat back in the ring. Thanks a lot, now-convicted ex-mayor Larry Langford. Your love of white-collar crime is going to cost me my Google rank again. But this fight has just begun, and a man named Tom, who appears to know his Birmingham, found me online yesterday and noted the bright side.