Response to today’s loud El talker

Sir, before you think I was eavesdropping, please know that young men with cell phones are prone to projecting. And, sir, you’ve got a healthy set of chords. I was sorry to hear you probably won’t get into Northwestern like your friend Michael. At least you still have your job, whatever it is.

Sure, those mothers complained their children weren’t given anything to do at the party you were paid to organize, but you’ll hear no complaints from me. They were 8th graders! Just like you said, they should be able to entertain themselves. And it was good you told those 13-year-olds to stop pole dancing before they got you fired. You’re absolutely right: the mothers would have liked that even less.

You, sir, are one top-notch employee. Don’t let those mothers tell you otherwise.

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