When your third eye is your bad eye

Dan Neil begins his review of the 2008 Subaru Impreza WRX by recalling Subaru’s acts of self-destruction. He then moves into the review of the new model. The headline summarizes well, “Subaru messes with its franchise, the Impreza.”

More recently, in 2005 Subaru ventured into the premium mid- to full-size crossover market with the B9 Tribeca (they have since dropped the “B9” on account of it being an inadvertent homonym of “benign,” as in tumors). The Tribeca introduced the world to a strange, three-port grille array, meant to convey parent-company Fuji Heavy Industries’ glorious history in aviation. You may remember them from the skies of Pearl Harbor. Perfect! Great message: I want a car like the plane that used to bomb granddad.

For every upside you can count [on the new Impreza] — the doors now have full-frame windows that dramatically improve noise levels — there’s a tawdry downside. The cheesy, straight-outta-Pep Boys mirror chrome taillights, for example. Meanwhile, the front-end follies continue with the Impreza, which now does a passable impression of Mazda.

And by the way, the WRX’s hood scoop looks like a bizarre experiment in trepanation.

There’s nothing like a writer who sends you to the dictionary. Many writers may use words you don’t know, but only so many phrase a sentence in a way that requires it. Trepidation? No, trepanation.

We turn to the Alternative Medicine Encyclopedia.

Trepanation is a surgical procedure in which a circular piece of bone is removed from the skull by a special saw-like instrument called a trephine or trepan. The operation is also known as trephination or trephining. The English word “trepan” comes from the Greek word trypanon, which means “auger” or “drill.”

In standard medical practice, trepanation is occasionally performed by a neurosurgeon in order to relieve pressure on the brain caused by trauma, or to remove a blood clot from brain tissue. In recent years, however, trepanation has been touted by a small group of alternative practitioners as a way to expand one’s consciousness through the increase of blood flow to the brain and opening the “third eye,” also known as the inner eye or eye of the mind.

Scrolling back to the review photo, the car confirms this.

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