Field trip to the trailer park

As explained yesterday, I returned to Apple’s movie trailer site this weekend after several years. I thought I’d run down the most notable, for better or worse, of the bunch….

Street Kings. Same with Accidental Husband. Keanu, Forest Whitaker, House, Cedric the Entertainer, and explosions? Has to be watchable.

The Happening. Okay, so, after The Departed, we’re all the same page about Mark Wahlberg now, right? And after War of the Worlds (which I saw), I Am Legend (which I didn’t see) and Cloverfield (which I did), we’re all in the mood for something a little better now, right? I trust M. Night more than most to provide it.

Priceless. A man whom I can only assume is the French Steve Carrell meets seductress Audrey Tautou, whose big brown eyes are bigger and browner than ever. Hilarity and an all-too-conventional, sexy-Amelie-mood-killing trailer announcer ensue.

The Forbidden Kingdom. Imagine Rush Hour, except Jackie Chan is Chris Tucker, the heir apparent to Sean Astin is Jackie Chan, and it’s dramedy. Hmmmm.

Superhero Movie. Let’s get one thing straight. This movie looks awful. This movie looks worse than The Forbidden Kingdom. I’m not going to see it. But I already like the kid more than Tobey Maquire and the girl more than Kirsten Dunst.

Smart People. I’m wondering if this is one of those cases where a trailer makes a movie look worse than it actually is. Dennis Quaid, SJP, Juno, and Thomas Hayden Church, whose name I can now strangely remember before his mechanic character’s name from Wings.

Flawless. Ocean’s Eleven meets Office Space meets the sinking feeling that this movie has already happened when clearly it has not happened yet.

Stop-Loss. Saw it before Cloverfield. Most theater-silencing trailer I’ve witnessed in a couple years.

Backseat. Who is Aubrey Dollar?

Baby Mama. Tina Fey and Maura Tierney are in the same movie. Say it with me: Tina Fey and Maura Tierney are in the same movie. Again! Tina Fey and Maura Tierney are in the same movie. With Tina as Liz Lemon, Amy Poehler as Amy Poehler when she’s not on SNL and funny, and PC (vs. Mac) as himself.

What Happens in Vegas. No words.

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