T.M. Shine is the new reason to read the Washington Post

Style irritates you with mush, and you don’t recognize the names in the A section. You never know what to expect out of Metro, and aren’t you glad they’re killing the Sunday Source? For you, current Post haters (and I’m with you on some counts), I offer T.M. Shine and the paper’s Magazine. The magazine, not the Sunday Source, is the new Style.

T.M. Shine rides again this weekend with “Choosing Not to Choose: How One Man Embraces Indecision and Leaves All His Decisions Up to Others.” The story is exactly what the headline says, and all you need is the Dunkin’ Donuts opening to get aboard. The goodness goes on:

Later in the day, when I asked a sandy-haired woman at Old Navy to pick out a shirt for me, she began to look me up and down as if I were trying to pass through a security checkpoint. I didn’t mind the once-over, but the twice-over and the thrice-over were a bit annoying. Her eyes were darting and zooming in on my weaknesses. Zoom: Stain on shirt he’s wearing — sloppy guy. Zoom: Right ear noticeably bigger than left — bad genes. Zoom: Scar on wrist — possible suicide attempt.

I had to fight the urge to stop her and shout: The scar’s just from punching a lamppost. It’s not even going the right direction for a suicide attempt.

Zoom: Chicken legs. They’re not really chicken legs. They’re more like free-range chicken legs, which are a little more muscular than chicken legs because they’re … you know … running free. But I stopped myself. I didn’t want her decision muddied by all the same junk in my head that muddies my decisions.

This blog last saw Shine writing the year’s best story about losing your job. This blog also meant to cover “Mr. Chair Man,” Shine’s fall quest to sit in Washington’s famous chairs, but it may have lost that link in a browser crash and forgotten. (Chrome has become inches away from the default. Any day now.) For the indecision piece, Shine’s posted a leftover in his blog, with others deciding where he should move. “Fast forward to yesterday when I took my desk globe of the earth up to the park. For some reason, I thought the globe might attract attention, like when a guy shows up with a macaw on his shoulder at a bus stop….”

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