What you hear one day vs. the next

Outside my work these days, I’m mixed up as to which way is forward. The clarity I had last winter and spring has burned off this summer. I’d like to blame the sun or the earthquakes or the hurricanes, but I can’t offer much in the way of proof. All I can figure is my glasses are under a magazine somewhere, my compass lounged too near a magnet and my view fell on the wrong side of city building permits. I have faith the glasses will turn up, and I can search how to re-magnetize a compass. But the view part takes effort. In my daydreams, the new neighboring high-rise isn’t moving. Any obstructed blue or night skies are helpless.

So, to move, to go chasing those skies, I have to use what’s available. The real view from this apartment is a start. With the sun pushing into the bedroom blinds early, whatever happened the day before receives a challenge. Whatever I’ve missed the day before bestows a reminder. There is clarity somewhere, and I’ve been granted an hour’s loan. I’ve squandered everything from the day prior, but still the sun comes up.

If I was playing music in the haze and gloom, a replay comes next. The interpretation that seemed mannered and set falls apart at the bolts. I am always amazed at how quickly the collapse occurs. If yesterday the new Wilco album limned heartbreak’s cacophony with interspersed and misguided bouts of hope, today The Whole Love of the title makes more sense. The┬ádiscordance is not from heartbreak but confusions, and you and I just arrive in the middle of things. Those sporadic hopes are real. I don’t have hard evidence, just the returns on the hour’s investment.

The album’s cover appears to be a dark Escher box stuffed with other Escher boxes, nearly machine-like in their interlockings, intimidating as either a maze or an engine. At the right times of day, in the right light, though, the puzzle looks almost solvable. Finish the maze or grasp the logic making completion impossible, get a spark, set the day to moving, past whatever blocks a view, onward to wherever love’s clarity hides.