Now this is how you insult state-bird choices

I want this kind of analysis to happen for all official state animal choices. All state official everything choices, even. Slate, bless it, via The Birdist (a real site), provides hard-hitting takes on the nation’s official state birds. Like…

Florida: “I am finishing this post the next day because I had to go buy a new computer after I threw my last one out the window when I read that Florida’s state bird was the northern mockingbird.”

Alaska: “Willow Ptarmigans are the dumbest-sounding birds on Earth, sorry. They sound like rejected Star Wars aliens, angrily standing outside the Mos Eisley Cantina because their IDs were rejected.”

Arkansas: “Christ. What makes this even less funny is that there are like eight other states with mockingbird as their official bird. I’m convinced that the guy whose job it was to report to the state’s legislature on what the official bird should be forgot until the day it was due and he was in line for a breakfast sandwich at Burger King. In a panic he walked outside and selected the first bird he could find, a dirty mockingbird singing its stupid head off on top of a dumpster.”

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